De-Escalate – How to Manage Relationships | Conflict & Anger
Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.
Dr. Doug Noll – A successful trial lawyer-turned-mediator for 35 years, Noll gives you the secrets to calm an angry person of any age while remaining centered and calm yourself. His new book, De-Escalate, guides readers on how to keep your composure during a heated argument, and to withstand insults, provocations, and disrespect from others without losing your cool.
If you’ve ever lost an argument by losing it, it’s because you haven’t read or listened to Doug Noll. In a world more politically divided than ever, De-Escalate provides a simple, surefire way to communicate with others respectfully and productively, despite how tense a situation may be at first blush.
How To De-Escalate
In De-Escalate, Noll shares how to defuse conflicts quickly by focusing and targeting the emotions of the angry person rather than the words being said (or screamed). In this way, habitual, counterproductive, defensive and reflexive responses of anger and frustration on your part are circumvented – and cooler heads will likely prevail.
De-escalate Tools – Noll On The Reality Of Prisons
“I developed skills to de-escalate as a professional mediator to help very angry people make better decisions about the problems they faced.
Then I honed the skills in some of California’s maximum-security prisons with inmates serving life sentences. With training, these insightful inmates have stopped violent fights, gang riots, arguments, and bullying using skills from De-Escalate. Dozens of inmates have told me that if they had learned these skills 10, 15, 20 years earlier, they would not be in prison today.”
Practical De-Escalate Applications: The Prison of Peace Project
Noll, who holds both a JD and an MA, left his successful career as a lawyer to become a peacemaker. He is an award-winning author, teacher, trainer, highly experienced mediator, and co-founder of The Prison of Peace Project. This has been the most profound peace training Douglas has conducted thus far in his career. Inmates who have gone through his program have learned and applied deep, empathic listening skills, leadership skills, and problem-solving skills to reduce violence in their prison communities.
However, you don’t have to be in prison to develop leadership skills and political acumen.
Books and Web site: Doug Noll
- Doug Noll – Keynote and Emotional Intelligence Training – Speaking Engagements
- The Prison of Peace Project – Exemplary Prison Progress – Review This
- Elusive Peace: How Modern Diplomatic Strategies Could Better Resolve World Conflicts – Noll, Global Amazon Link – I hope he will return for commentary on this topic.
- De-Escalate: How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less – Noll, Global Amazon Link
- Thinking Fast and Slow – Kahneman, Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences 2002, Global Amazon Link
- Deep Recovery: How to Use Your Most Difficult Relationships To Find Out Who You Are – Parker, Global Amazon Link – ’92 – Recommendations for self-management that decries reductionistic thinking and affect mismanagement.
- On The Happy Life – Seneca 59AD – Global Amazon Link
CBJ Guest Interview Pages On Balanced Mindset – Systems 2 Thinking
- Mindset: http://corebrainjournal.com/mindset
- Veterans: http://corebrainjournal.com/vets
- Child, Teen & Family: http://corebrainjournal.com/teen
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Dr. Noll – Book Drawing for De-Escalate
Closed Sept. 27, ’17
Interesting Parental Focus From This CBJ/150 Conversation
Details On The Prison of Peace Mission
Until next time, thanks for joining us here at CBJ again to understand the resolution of anger and conflict. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the bottom of the post.
Also, please leave an honest review for the CoreBrain Journal Podcast on iTunes. Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated. Reviews do matter in the rankings of the show, and I read each one of them.
If this post with these several references is helpful, please take a moment to pass it on.
Comments Or Questions
In closing, if you have any comments or questions, drop a comment on any posting here at CBJ, and I’ll get back to you often in 24 hr. This discerning show of world-class experts is here for you, your families, and your clients – to tighten our collective dialogue for more precise answers. Your thoughts will contribute further value.
And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes to get automatic updates, or if you’re on an Android Device subscribe for timely updates at Google Play. Yes, these extraordinary experts with hundreds of years of combined experience are free.
Deep personal thanks, Doug, for your entertaining, insightful observations and useful tools with such profound implications for the evolution of humankind. Let’s have another conversation on the larger scale of political applications from Elusive Peace.
Our Next CoreBrain Journal Episode
151 Hannah Hamblin – When she became legally blind at a young age it naturally caused her to lean on her growing Christian faith. She knows she is disabled, but with God’s help and guidance, there are no limitations that stop her from getting where she needs to go in life. Because of Hannah’s strong faith, she launched CherishJesus.com to share encouraging messages with others around the world. In addition, she launched her own coaching practice. Paradoxically, Hannah demonstrates how a visually impaired woman never allowed blindness to stop visualizing success and seeing herself as successful.
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- Core Brain Journal--NeuropsychologyMay 25, 2017 by Dr Terry James Gingras from United States
Just finished session 118 with neuropsychologist, Dr. Braun. Excellent content presented in a relaxed style. I'm a neuropsychoogist with a specialization In ADHD so I appreciate both Dr. Parker's and Dr. Braun's efforts demystifying the practice of neuropsychology.
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Core Brain Journal, with Dr. Charles Parker is a must listen for a wide audience. If you are either the individual, suffering from complex personal medical/ psychological issues; or a family member, friend... please tune in often.
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I especially liked this Podcast because it provided a wealth of valuable brain health research and tips in an approachable, easy-to-listen-to format. The rapport between the Guest Speaker (Dr. Braun) and Host (Dr. Parker) was evident, and I hope to hear another Podcast with this Guest Speaker!
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Great work Charles - Love the episode with Peggy about anxiety. Keep it up!
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If you have a loved one with bipolar disorder or live with it yourself, do NOT miss that episode! Dr. Parker brings serious science to specific issues in an accesible, applicable way. Really, really good.
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